Developing and building boundaries can be challenging.  However, taking time to develop boundaries can help us more easily navigate the problems we encounter in life.

Here are additional ways to help children develop good boundaries:

Boundaries can enable us to resolve conflicts more effectively.  For example, teaching children to respect other points of view can enhance their relationships.

No relationship is without discord, and at times we have to lose the fight to win the relationship.  Compromise is a key ingredient in maintaining good, healthy relationships.  Where good relations are concerned, winning isn’t everything.

Be a good role model.  You are the most powerful example in your child’s life.  Let your child observe your own relationships, especially those that are long-standing – from junior high or your college days.  Talk about your friendships openly – the good times and the not-so-good times, the ups and the downs.  Your child should know that putting effort into relationships is what contributes to their value and longevity.

Boundaries help create safety and trust.  They provide us with predictability which can create emotional safety. It’s much easier to relax when you know the rules of engagement.

Our children spend many unsupervised hours away from home, and inevitably they leave the family.  Learning how to choose good friends and how to nurture friendships is an important part of growing up.  These skills can make coping with life’s hardships a lot easier when they occur.

Talk to your children about putting these ideas into practice.  Ask your child about their friends and whether or not they treat each other with respect.  Talk to them about how to approach a friend when things aren’t going well, but they want to keep the friendship.

For more information about developing healthy boundaries, please contact Dr. Steven Chen.  Dr. Chen has offices in both Salt Lake City and Draper, Utah.