Every marriage has ups and downs. In the Focus on the Family article, 10 Secrets to a Successful Marriage, Mitch Temple gives helpful marital tips. Couples who consider these tips can learn to navigate challenges in a successful manner. Here is a summary of the 10 principles or tips.
- Focus on bringing happiness into the marriage. People want to be happy, but happiness isn’t the most important thing. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things to bring happiness into the marriage when life has challenges.
- There is value in simply showing up for each other. When things are tough and people don’t know what to do, they need to simply be there for each other. Over time, people will have the opportunity to work together, reduce stress, and work things out.
- If you do things the same way, you will get the same result. Wise people learn that you have to do things differently to get a different outcome. Small changes in attitude, actions, or approach can make big differences.
- Your attitude matters. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing your attitude. A negative attitude often creates bad feelings and actions.
- Change your mind, change your marriage. What people believe about their spouse affects how they treat each other.
- Successful couples don’t believe the myth that grass is greener somewhere else. They have learned to put energy into making themselves and their relationship better. They have learned to “water their own grass.”
- You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Experienced couples have learned that it is very difficult to change your partner. The only person we can really change is ourselves.
- Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Feelings go up and down, but real love is based on commitment.
- Marriage is often about fighting the battle in your own mind. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person and that they are imperfect as well.
- A crisis does not mean the marriage is over. Crises can be very stressful and upsetting. However, couples can make it through and be stronger in the long run.